Could use some feedback.

[Zeky'rith]

Hey, so... I wrote a description for my character, Zeknarzt and I would appreciate some feedback. Here's what I got:

Zeknarzt is a kind soft-spoken, compassionate soul, who is eager to help others, especially those in need. Whether with divine powers, lending a sympathetic ear, or even with his sword if absolutely necessary. He has a bright mind, and can often be seen reading a book, whether that be an epic or a dry tome about the history of the Lute, or debating the finer points of theology and magical theory. He also has a deep appreciation of music, and possess some musical talent himself, as he’s quite skilled with the Lute, which he uses to entertain and heal.

This is me trying to be short. lol Ugh, brevity is not my strong suit.

Thanks in advance!

[Bhaern Quel]

So how tall is he? Is he thin and nimble, or perhaps a little more steady and firm. Of course his hair colour is the same as his eyes, or maybe not.

Of course being a free spirit he wears nothing except the harp.

A descpriction should include vital stats. Also I will move this to OOC.

[Zeky'rith]

So how tall is he? Is he thin and nimble, or perhaps a little more steady and firm. Of course his hair colour is the same as his eyes, or maybe not.

Of course being a free spirit he wears nothing except the harp.

A descpriction should include vital stats. Also I will move this to OOC.

Thanks! I'm trying to create a D&D character sheet, so I wrote a description of just his personality traits, rather than a overall description. I guess I should have specified. I was going to work on his physical traits next, after I finished with his personality (and ideals, bonds, etc.)

[Bhaern Quel]

Well knowing his traits are good, there is not much others can help you with that. It is your character concept.

At best we good offer edit ideas about your vision. Unless you want our ideas about what your character traits should be.

[Zeky'rith]

Well knowing his traits are good, there is not much others can help you with that. It is your character concept.

At best we good offer edit ideas about your vision. Unless you want our ideas about what your character traits should be.

I was more hoping for feedback on my writing. I'm unsure if I wrote a good description of my character's personality or not. I envision my character as a kind, intelligent, and compassionate fellow, with a desire to help others. I haven't really thought about his physical traits yet. That was going to be the next thing I focused on. Sorry if I haven't been very clear, or for any confusion.

[Drathiranon]

Well done on the personality aspect of Zeknarzt! Your writing is descriptive and spot on from a story telling perspective!

Most of us come from different parts of the world so clarity becomes important when communicating ideas. We're a friendly and patient bunch so no worries! You are doing fine.

[Verlansia Arseaniamaen]

Zeknarzt is a kind soft-spoken, compassionate soul, who is eager to help others, especially those in need. Whether with divine powers, lending a sympathetic ear, or even with his sword if absolutely necessary. He has a bright mind, and can often be seen reading a book, whether that be an epic or a dry tome about the history of the Lute, or debating the finer points of theology and magical theory. He also has a deep appreciation of music, and possess some musical talent himself, as he’s quite skilled with the Lute, which he uses to entertain and heal.

Personality and interests description looks great! A likeable kind of Drow!

[Zeky'rith]

Well done on the personality aspect of Zeknarzt! Your writing is descriptive and spot on from a story telling perspective!

Most of us come from different parts of the world so clarity becomes important when communicating ideas. We're a friendly and patient bunch so no worries! You are doing fine.

Thanks!

I'll try to keep that in mind in the future, and also be more clear.

Now I'm working on his physical traits, and than his backstory after that.

Personality and interests description looks great! A likeable kind of Drow!

Thanks! Your kind words make feel better. I was having some doubts.

[Ssin'urn Streea]

So how tall is he? Is he thin and nimble, or perhaps a little more steady and firm. Of course his hair colour is the same as his eyes, or maybe not.

Of course being a free spirit he wears nothing except the harp.

A descpriction should include vital stats. Also I will move this to OOC.

Thanks! I'm trying to create a D&D character sheet, so I wrote a description of just his personality traits, rather than a overall description. I guess I should have specified. I was going to work on his physical traits next, after I finished with his personality (and ideals, bonds, etc.)

So you are saying you have a plan and this is your process? Commendable!
I look forward to see the next installment you have in mind for Zeknarzt.

[Zeky'rith]

Hey folks! Here's the first draft of the physical description of my Zeknarzt:

Zeknarzt is a young dark elf (25). Charcoal skin covers his lean, and nimble average height (5’ 8”) frame. He has soft, crimson-colored eyes, and long silvery hair, which is shaved on the right side. Zeknarzt has a delicate face, with sharp attractive features. A thin scar, courtesy of his elder brother, runs from under the outer corner of his left eye, down to just above his mouth.

He wears silver-colored chain-mail armor, that bears the symbol of Eilistraee on its front. A silver longsword earring, at the end of silver-colored chain, hangs from his right ear. He also usually wears a simple black cloak over his armor, so he can pass unnoticed if need be, since a dark elf, even a follower of Eilistraee, doesn’t always get the warmest of welcomes. A rapier and shield, along with his trusty lute, hangs at Zeknarzt’s back.

Some quick questions: I was having some trouble describing his facial features. How do people usually go about that? Sorry if the answer is obvious. Also, Is 5' 8" (1.73 m) average height? Google said it is, but I just wanted to be sure.

[Bhaern Quel]

Drow height tends to be smaller than other elves, however it depends what source and edition you want to use..

Drow height 4' 5 " + 2d6 " Making average 4'7" to 5' 5" 3rd & 5th I beleive

(5' tall) is 2nd Edition
5´ 4˝–6´ 0˝ 4th Edition

Also FR Drow were different from base D&D Drow IIRC

[Zeky'rith]

Drow height tends to be smaller than other elves, however it depends what source and edition you want to use..

Drow height 4' 5 " + 2d6 " Making average 4'7" to 5' 5" 3rd & 5th I beleive

(5' tall) is 2nd Edition
5´ 4˝–6´ 0˝ 4th Edition

Also FR Drow were different from base D&D Drow IIRC

Oh, I was just going off the 5E (2014) player's handbook said about elves "They are slightly shorter than humans on average, ranging from well under 5 feet tall to just over 6 feet." . The drow part didn't explain a whole lot. I guess I'll change his height using the height table in the 5e ph. FR are different than base drow? Well that explains why I've been so confused. Thanks for the help!

[Irennan]

Hey, so... I wrote a description for my character, Zeknarzt and I would appreciate some feedback. Here's what I got:

Zeknarzt is a kind soft-spoken, compassionate soul, who is eager to help others, especially those in need. Whether with divine powers, lending a sympathetic ear, or even with his sword if absolutely necessary. He has a bright mind, and can often be seen reading a book, whether that be an epic or a dry tome about the history of the Lute, or debating the finer points of theology and magical theory. He also has a deep appreciation of music, and possess some musical talent himself, as he’s quite skilled with the Lute, which he uses to entertain and heal.

This is me trying to be short. lol Ugh, brevity is not my strong suit.

Thanks in advance!

What's his main goal? The obstacles--internal and external--he's dealing with? What does he value the most? If you want to know a person, you must know what they want and what they value above all first and foremost, and how they work to obtain those things. Basically, what prompts them to action and how. Most of the other aspects are often a consequence of those core issues.