Chuck Norris Jokes

[Xion]

Not sure if any of these were posted or not but....

- Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
- Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.
- Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
- If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
- There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.
- There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
- When Chuck Norris was denied a Bacon McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a KFC.
- If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris doesnt consider it sex if the woman lives. (Lawl)
- There Is No Such Thing As A Lesbian, There Are Just Girls Who Haven’t Met Chuck Norris. (Lawl!)

[Malek]

Good ones. There were even a few in there that I'd never heard before.

[Thalon Mercrow]

chuck noris shaves with a cactus and uses sulfuric acid for after shave

chuck noris is so tough he pointed his finger at a germen fighter plane and said bang! ther were no survivers

chuck noris do not set his clocks back an hour the sun rises and sets when he says so

chuck noris whent back in time to stop the jfk killing oswald shot 3 butlets chuck blocked them. jfks hed exploded in amazment

when chuck noris gos to donate blood he declines a srynge instead he asks for a hand gun and a bucket

chuck noris has 2 speeds:walk & kill

chuck noris can breath fire

when a man asked if charles was his real name chuck noris said nothing and stared at him tell his head exploded

when chuck noris runs with siciors other pepole get hurt

chuck noris can light ants on fir with a magnifing glass. at night

chuck noris eats tarsformer toys in vehicle mode and shits them out in robot form

chuck noris dosn't sleep. he waits.

chuck noiris can command the lions of voltron.all at once

ice is not cold water its water thatsbeen scared still by chuck noris

chuck noris can not praticapate in the NFL,NHL,UFC,PGA,NBA or any Olmypic event for fear that too many deaths would occure...

chuck noris dosn't need 299 spartens to defeat the persion empire

[Nilonim Rhyl]

they are well nice
here is another one if i remember it right

Chuck Noris was one of the four magicians who gave jesus the gift of the beard which jesus wore it proudly till he died. the other magicians coz they was envy didnt include chuck noris in their stories, after a while and the 3 of them were found dead by roundhouse kicks

i think that was how it goes i may have made some mistakes

[Shir'le E. Illios]

[url=http://clients.arranschlosberg.com/chuck/:1r29b9af]Google search for Chuck Norris[/url:1r29b9af]


Love -x-x-x-

Shir'le