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The machine carefully chews on the mouse before burping out computer cat.

Inserts third finger! Third time is a charm!

The Automated Retail kiosk dispenses a wedding ring.

Inserts a can of adventurer-be-gone.

You get a CR12 monster with 10 class levels and fully-scaled equipment.

*inserts an ogre-slaying knife* (It gets a +9 against ogres!)

out comes an ogre deity

*incert pants from another thread*

You get thread from another pants.

*inserts a gold piece on a string, so I can get it back out again afterwards*

the machine gets angry, slurps up the string and your arm in payment
you got a flesh eating virus!

*incerts carved pumpkin*

You get 14 metric tons of candy.

*inserts my tongue*

The tongue gets jammed in slot and book falls out of prize pocket. With one glance you can say it is named "101 ways to get the stuck body part out of mechanisms*. Using your extraordinary super powers, you manage to read it and use the gained knowledge to gain freedom.

*throws in a towel so it could clean the machine of drool.*

The towel comes back out- autographed by Joe Montana. Don't ask me how.....

Inserts dog collar.

a puppy! only he's a bit bigger than expected. and not house broken...at all!

*Insert catnip*

Raksha. THOUSANDS of them.

*inserts 4th edition player's handbook*
I know, I'm a sick man. I had to get rid of it SOMEhow, though!

the machine get sick and plants curses on you.
*insert bubbles*

You get a j-pop cd

*inserts zombie hand*

Despite the attempts to continue life and escape the vending machine trying to crawl out with it's fingers, chomping machine finally swallows it with sounds of screeching saws. With short 'ding' a hamburger is handed out. Despite the delicious aroma, you wonder if you should eat it.

*Inserts wooden nickel*

You get a set of wooden dentures (First thing that came to mind)

*inserts music cd*