Twenty Things I Learned at Melee-Magthere

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Zarae Zyne Kilanatlar
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Twenty Things I Learned at Melee-Magthere

Post by Zarae Zyne Kilanatlar »

i found this, dont remember who wrote it. thought it was funny

Twenty Things I Learned at Melee-Magthere
- compiled by Jarlaxle of Bregan D’aerthe

1. All the monsters you heard stories about do exist.
2. Betting pools on who will depose the current Matron are only fun if she never finds out.
3. Don’t talk to the little voices; they’re spies for the teachers.
4. The new words you learn actually make the priestesses very angry when used to describe them.
5. You can kill goblins. You can kill elves. You can even kill other drow. But woe to you if you step on a spider!
6. Putting worms in an unpopular teacher’s underwear isn’t just mean, it earns you extra credit from his rival teachers!
7. Pay attention to your weird dreams – there is a slim chance that they really did happen.
8. ‘Color’ is not a commonly accepted concept among drow.
9. ‘Dead’ enemies do not always stay dead. But they do stay enemies.
10. There are some things money can’t buy; intelligence is one of these. Good looks is another.
11. Beware of rabid lizards; enough said.
12. Baby rust monsters should never be kept in the same drawer as one’s valuables.
13. Never drink anything you find in a wizard’s lab.
14. Nobody likes people smarter than they are. Unless said genius is winning a fight for them.
15. Laughing must be done privately, lest the gloom of the Underdark be disturbed.
16. Friends are people who will stab you in the front; pay them off before they can do this.
17. There are no ‘failed students’ in Melee-Magthere, only drider food.
18. Nobody really knows what’s in the food. They also don’t know what happens to injured kobolds. But they do get very angry if you ask.
19. When someone interrupts your melodious singing to ask if you know what time it is, they typically don’t want an answer.
20. Shiny things come to those who outsmart authority figures!
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T'risstree Helviiryn
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Post by T'risstree Helviiryn »

Very wise words of advice indeed for any male drow ;)
L'''' ghefna i''''dol ulu doera natha wael zhah talinth dosstan mzild bekea taga byrren
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Post by Ra'Sona Races-The-Wind »

"[i:36yk13es]Always [/i:36yk13es]take the moral high ground. Your bow shoots further from there."
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Inriiaynrae Jaelre
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Post by Inriiaynrae Jaelre »

21. anything that is not forbidden is compulsory; the trick is remembering which is which."

22. "social correctness traditionally has nothing to do with logic, reason, or physics. in fact, here it is generally considered socially incorrect to know stuff or think about things, especially if you're male."
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Ra'Sona Races-The-Wind
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Post by Ra'Sona Races-The-Wind »

23: Make many friends. It gives your enemies someone else to shoot at.
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Argoth
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Post by Argoth »

Don't put your hand in a lake with pyrimo fish. It cost you your testicles. I don't know, I just postem at random, sorry.
Ra'Sona Races-The-Wind
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Post by Ra'Sona Races-The-Wind »

"Never eat the gooey grey fungus."
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Talwyn Aureliano
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Post by Talwyn Aureliano »

If raiding on the surface in cold realms: DON"T EAT YELLOW SNOW!
In War: Resolution. In Defeat: Defiance. In Victory: Magnanimity. In Peace: Goodwill.

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Ra'Sona Races-The-Wind
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Post by Ra'Sona Races-The-Wind »

"A sucking chest wound is Nature's way of telling you to slow down."
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Zarae Zyne Kilanatlar
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Post by Zarae Zyne Kilanatlar »

The only difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.
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Ra'Sona Races-The-Wind
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Post by Ra'Sona Races-The-Wind »

If it was risky, it worked and you didn't get hurt: you were brilliant
If it was risky, it worked and you got hurt: you were courageous
If it was risky, it didn't work and you didn't get hurt: you were lucky
If it was risky, it didn't work and you got hurt;: you were stupid (and are probably dead)
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Dirzendar
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Post by Dirzendar »

Know many disciplines and know your enemy. "Merely" knowing the art of massage will make you more useful alive than dead to your new Drow mistress.

Bonus saving roll for knowing her "tastes".
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Usstan inbal deisus lu'Usstan inbal keffal Ilta, l'Olath Wenress.
Ra'Sona Races-The-Wind
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Post by Ra'Sona Races-The-Wind »

Mistress is [i:1xalxpn8]always [/i:1xalxpn8]right.

If Mistress should ever be wrong, consult previous rule.
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Inriiaynrae Jaelre
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Post by Inriiaynrae Jaelre »

[quote="Ra'Sona Races-The-Wind":2kpj1cul]Mistress is [i:2kpj1cul]always [/i:2kpj1cul]right.

If Mistress should ever be wrong, consult previous rule.[/quote:2kpj1cul]

of course! yall males should learn that early on...

*cracks whip* hehehe
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Ra'Sona Races-The-Wind
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Post by Ra'Sona Races-The-Wind »

Glad you approve, O worshipful one. May I serve you in any way at all?

* * *

[i:1lmmokkq]It's never too early to kiss up to the boss.[/i:1lmmokkq]
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