Magic items to stay away from...

[Aylstra Illianniis]

Yeah, I don't think "men" would work with me anyway- ain't got the right parts....

[Ra'Sona Races-The-Wind]

How about the 'astral distress beacon?'

If you're lost in the astral planes and activate it, you basically get eaten by a Grue next time you have to roll for random encounters. It is, literally, a beacon for distress.

[Rainbow Prism]

Ring of ghostly incorporeality: turns you into incorporeal ghost... By throwing you out of your body. Forever.

[Ra'Sona Races-The-Wind]

Bad ghost touch ability: allows to you sexually harass ghosts.
Note: does not protect you from their lawyers.

Midas ghost touch: Turns ghosts into gold.
Note: It's still incorporeal.

[Rainbow Prism]

Actually in one 18+ guide there were gloves that allowed to touch ghosts as if they had flesh. Pretty kinky stuff.

Divine spammer: sends false prayers to the deities.
WARNING!
May incur their wrath.

[Ra'Sona Races-The-Wind]

Ring of friendship.
Pro: Monsters are always pleased to meet you.
Con: Monsters are no less pleased to eat you.

[Zarae Zyne Kilanatlar]

from this [url=http://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/3.5e_Magic ... s:1p1xpt6y]list[/url:1p1xpt6y] i thought this was funny: [url=http://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/Corset_of_ ... 9:1p1xpt6y]a Corset of Holding[/url:1p1xpt6y]. not sure if something to run from, but that would be hilarious in a game

[Rainbow Prism]

Everfull mug of cheap watered ale. Says for itself to be most useless crap to be rid off.

[Alaric Darkrose]

Jaq Sparrae's Magic Jar of Dirt. No kidding, one of my DM's put that in our campaign. You threw the dirt into a body of water and you have five seconds to jump off of it to where you want to go or you plummet into the water....into the Styx.

Oh, and the Jewelry Set of Sexiness. Sounded awesome, but playing a male character that is possessed by a succubus is awkward.

[Ra'Sona Races-The-Wind]

[i:2mdjhxa8]The housekeeping golem of inopportune intrusion.[/i:2mdjhxa8]
Built by many an overprotective parent to provide housecare for their offspring, this golem will always manage to walk in on you RIGHT when you're about to get your end away.
It will then insist on dusting the entire room, opening all the curtains as it does so.

[Aylstra Illianniis]

A few that I have created or used in my campaigns-

Thinking Cap- always says what's on its mind- often at the most inopportune times.
Musical Chairs- they move around when one attempts to sit on them, while playing annoying music.
Flute of Puppies- turns 1d6 creatures of 6 HD or lower who hear it into small puppies. This includes both foes and allies, of course.
Walking Stick- a staff that can move on its own, and will never be still to use it.
Invisible Cloak- Put it on, and it (and any toher clothing worn) becomes invisible.
Bag of Holding (Quirky)- these are standard bags of holding, but they have odd quirks, such as burping or thanking the owner for a meal when something is placed in them. If an item is taken out, they protest loudly about stealing....

[Ra'Sona Races-The-Wind]

Cold iron: Cannot be heated, thus will never get the creases out of your clothes.