OOC comments for "A Love Everlasting"
Posted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 11:46 pm
Ok, so far we have Bhaern chipping in on the story itself [a moderator should know better ]
[quote="Bhaern Quel":29249dya]Comment:
Odds are on for a half years income, the farmer, wife and famliy would take up the hayloft, giving up their beds and home for a short time. Of course different characters clearly can choose the path described.
This was the biggest thing that caught my attention, though some of the other did not feel well as a proper flow.
Feeling of course indicates my current reaction, not that of anybody else ... and as far as it goes my feeling could change. [/quote:29249dya]
[quote="Talwyn Aureliano":29249dya]Thank you for your comment Bhaern. Yes the money was a large amount however Talwyn specifically requested the use of the hayshed. The reason being if they were given the house, there'd be a greater chance of Jhaelystra's identity being discovered. They only needed a place to sleep and a bath and paladins are notoriously generous when it comes to handing out money.
I am re-working this story right now and there will be changes made to the original posts. [/quote:29249dya]
[quote="Aylstra Illianniis":29249dya]I know you mentioned making comments in pm, but I thought I should add to the discussion. I think it works just fine as you wrote it, and makes sense. A paladin would not wish to put a family out of thier home, and the farmer would likely be so grateful for the pay that he wouldn't care what they did. At any rate, I doubt he'd be offended if he did offer it and they didn't accept.
Great story so far. I like this! [/quote:29249dya]
[quote="Bhaern Quel":29249dya]Comment:
Odds are on for a half years income, the farmer, wife and famliy would take up the hayloft, giving up their beds and home for a short time. Of course different characters clearly can choose the path described.
This was the biggest thing that caught my attention, though some of the other did not feel well as a proper flow.
Feeling of course indicates my current reaction, not that of anybody else ... and as far as it goes my feeling could change. [/quote:29249dya]
[quote="Talwyn Aureliano":29249dya]Thank you for your comment Bhaern. Yes the money was a large amount however Talwyn specifically requested the use of the hayshed. The reason being if they were given the house, there'd be a greater chance of Jhaelystra's identity being discovered. They only needed a place to sleep and a bath and paladins are notoriously generous when it comes to handing out money.
I am re-working this story right now and there will be changes made to the original posts. [/quote:29249dya]
[quote="Aylstra Illianniis":29249dya]I know you mentioned making comments in pm, but I thought I should add to the discussion. I think it works just fine as you wrote it, and makes sense. A paladin would not wish to put a family out of thier home, and the farmer would likely be so grateful for the pay that he wouldn't care what they did. At any rate, I doubt he'd be offended if he did offer it and they didn't accept.
Great story so far. I like this! [/quote:29249dya]