[quote="Leema Har'gachi":330px8gh][quote="Irennan":330px8gh]Thank you for the help
. Yeah, the document needs some polishing for eventual typos. DW about the rules, I'm mostly interested in feedback about the lore.[/quote:330px8gh]
Well first I'd like to say, there is a lot of lore in this and of what I read it seem pretty good. A lot of the newer things seem to set up the organization of the faith in a good shape, and has some nice little bits that could make a good plot point for DMs. Granted I'll have to go back over it again when I have less college work plaguing me (like over this coming spring break), but for the most part I like the angle the lore is going. I'll admit however lore isn't really my.. strong suit, especial world building.[/quote:330px8gh]
Yeah, I wanted to give a positive, hopeful vibe. I'm tired of Eilistraee and her followers getting whacked and/or discriminated whenever they appear in a novel or event.
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I would like to comment a bit on the Sword Dancer domain (since the mechanic development is about all I have any real experience with
). I'll start by saying I really like the choices of Domain spells and reading Moon path makes it clear it is a good escape plan spell... or if you like fast travel, but its a bit limited for that use. I was surprised that you made Eilistraee's Moonfire a cantrip and I noticed you put a lot of emphasis in its mobility as a light source.... though I do miss the 2nd editions kill darkness with itself effect, I was glad you brought back the ability to make it pass through small holes like in the original spell. Though this is just a suggestion, but could you have it gain a somewhat lesser version of the moonfire's other abilities once you get your caster level to.. oh.. I don't what ever it is that cantrip usually gain their increases at... Its just a thought.[/quote:330px8gh]
Yep, Moon Path is meant as an escape spell, mostly to bring converts to safety. I made Moonfire a cantrip because I wanted it to be ''at will'' like in 3e (I love the idea of Sword Dancers using it artistically in their performance), so I had to scrap the ''kill darkness'' effect. I really enjoy its mobility, so I emphasized it. What do you mean about cantrips gaining an increase?
[quote:330px8gh]I actually like the Eilistraee's dance channel divinity power, though just a bit a comment on the bonus to attack rolls for the performance check of 27 or more. It isn't very likely that a character to roll that until very high level even then they would have to make sure they have at least a +4 charisma modifier to get it even 3/10th of the time as advantage isn't too useful for high target rolls so don't worry it shouldn't be too much of a problem if it was a 4 bonus to attack rolls for 27 or more.[/quote:330px8gh]
I have considered making it a +4 (and will probably do). Quite honestly, I forgot to adequately consider the attack bonus when I made my calculations, I was mostly worried about making the average def bonus range from somewhat more than +3 at proficiency 1 to about +6 at proficiency 6. +4 cha modifier shouldn't be overly rare, since I envisioned the Sword Dancer as a CHA caster, rather than WIS (although WIS remains an option).
[quote:330px8gh]Now, I just need a bit of clarification on spellsong to make sure I understand it correctly. So they way it work is you do the charisma check and you succeed and can use one of your spell slots to cast any spell on the cleric, nature domain, light domain, and sword dancer domain spell list like spontaneous spellcasting effects from 3.5 right? Also, I noticed you used rest instead of short rest so I am assuming you mean long rest, because if that is the you can just use "You must complete a long rest before you can use this feature again," after the appropriate level is expended part instead of doing the Once per rest, it makes it a bit more clarified on what you mean that way. Then you can just change the last sentence to " Upon reaching 12th level as a cleric, you can use this feature twice per long rest."[/quote:330px8gh]
I meant either rest. It's basically spontaneous casting (I combined the 2e and 3e versions, since 3e allowed spontaneous casting, but only of domain spells), so it's versatile but not overly powerful. A short rest to recharge seemed appropriate to me. Thanks for the heads up on my phrasing.
[quote:330px8gh]I am also assuming for the Blessed blade feature that you mean you can do the dancing and singing prayer ritual during your short rest (I.E. you still get the benefit of short rest in addition to completing the requirement to attune your sword.), if this is the case then the current beginning word usage of the second sentence of the the second paragraph is a bit... misleading. Rather than reading like this "You must spend a short rest dancing with the sword and singing a prayer to Eilistraee," it should read more like this " You can, during a short rest, perform a dance with the sword and sing a prayer to Eilistraee," this should make it a bit clearer what you mean. If this isn't the case however and you are using "spend a short rest" more as a time frame of how long it takes, may I suggest just telling them how long you must perform the dance and prayer for instead.[/quote:330px8gh]
Yes, I will change the phrasing, thanks again!
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Aside for that above everything else for the Sword dancer look Amazing, if I ever get into a 5th edition game I will definitely use this. I will look over this again when I have more time and I'll see about the Equipment and artifacts. I hope this is helpful to you, Irannan~san.
P.S. Oh, by the way. With all this lore in this PDf, and this is just a suggestion but it could easily be called "The Forgotten Realms Guide to Eilistraee"
. Just a thought mind you.
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The Singing Swords are pretty much the 2e version... Moon Maiden's Song is an artifact, a harp. I meant to give a strong ''create and produce wonderful effects through music'' theme, aside from being a direct guidance from Eilistraee, when it comes to doing specific stuff. It's mostly meant to cast spells, rather than give passive benefits, although I'm pretty sure that it needs quite a bit of work, since I've written many effects ''ad hoc''.
The Forgotten Realms Guide to Eilistraee sounds like a fun title
, but I prefer to stay humble, even more so because much of the lore is actually Ed's--I've just put it together because I want as many as possible to see it.