Services for an Eilistraeean Wedding or Handfesting

[silke_rahn]

ON the NWN-2 Peristant World Server "The Forgotten Realm" I am Nedylene Rahn the Argent Maid and I am the High Priestess of Eilistraee at Lunar Temple. One of my Temple members wants to RP the IC wedding of his character to his character's human girl friend. Where can I find any source of how we as priestesses of Eilistraee would do this?

[Talwyn Aureliano]

Hi Nedylene

I don't think there is any source for Eilistraeen Weddings. Well none that I could find.

However, I did find this Elven ceremony based [which I've modifed for you] on stuff out of LotR which you may find useful:

[color=blue:1z4emkop]Elven Wedding Vows

At the Betrothal

Groom/Bride: I give you this silver ring with my love, and I promise to marry you. (The Groom/Bride give the other a silver ring. Then the other gives a silver ring, repeating the promise.)


At Marriage:

The Bride's Mother: May the Selarine watch over this marriage and protect it from the shadow of death. May _____ and _____ live and love together always in the will of Eilistraee


Groom/Bride: I give you your silver ring and a gold ring with my eternal love, and I marry you. I name you "a new Lore Name". (The Groom/Bride gives the other the silver ring that the other gave during Betrothal along with a golden one. Then the other does the same, repeating the oath.)



If Terminating the Betrothal:

Groom/Bride: I return this ring to you; I will not marry you/there will be no marriage. (They give back their silver rings.)

Groom and Bride together: We destroy the tokens of our love, and we will never marry. (They melt their silver rings.)[/color:1z4emkop]


There is more which I haven't altered just copied for you:


[color=blue:1z4emkop]An Elven Wedding

One mystery to many Lord of the Rings fans (who haven't read Morgoth's Ring) is Elven marriage. Wandering around the fandom, we see all sorts of marriage ceremonies; from Christian ones to very elaborate ceremonies involving bloodletting. This essay answers the question: What is an Elven marriage like?

Tolkien wrote an essay called, The Laws and Customs of the Eldar, wherein he describes Elven marriages in great detail. Since Tolkien went to such great lengths to make sure Elven marriages were understood, it seems only fitting to use and honor the information.
Timeline
Betrothal

* Most Elves choose their spouse while they are still young - 50 to 100 years old. There are a few exceptions, and marrying late seems to be connected to "ill chances or strange fates".
* When the two Elves involved decide that they are going to marry for certain, they promise to marry each other. The act is called betrothal.
* They give each other silver rings.
* They hold a betrothal feast, in which they announce their betrothal to the world, and their families meet.
* At least a year passes between betrothal and marriage, to make certain that they are meant to marry each other.
* If they decide not to marry in this time, they return their silver rings publicly, then melt the rings, so no one can ever wear the rings again. (This is very rare. Elves don't make these decisions carelessly.)

Marriage

* A great feast is held in celebration of the couple's decision to marry.
* At some point during the feast, the couple joins hands and goes to a place where everyone at the feast can see them.
* The mother of the bride and the father of the bridegroom come forward and bless the marriage. (No mortal has ever heard these blessings, so Tolkien made certain that we mortals didn't know them either. All we know of the blessings is that the father names Manwë and the mother names Varda as witness to the marriage, and it is one of the rare times that the name of Eru Ilúvatar is spoken.)
* They give back the silver rings they gave each other in betrothal; these rings are treasured forever.
* Then they give gold rings to each other. The gold rings are worn on the index finger of the right hand.
* They give each other new Lore Names.
* The Noldor have another ritual for this feast (though it isn't bound to the feast, it can happen before the feast as well). The bride's mother gives the bridegroom a jewel on a chain, and the father of the bridegroom does the same to the bride.
* Finally, after the celebration is done, they will do the actual act of marriage. They have sex.

In Times of Trouble

* They will skip the rituals and feasts and go straight to the having sex part. Even if they can't have the party, they will speak the blessings and give each other Lore Names. It is rude not to celebrate and give various rings and blessings when they are able to. This short marriage isn't unlawful, because to the Elves, sex is marriage, with parties or without.

Important Facts About Elven Marriage

* Death does not part them. Elves marry for life and death. (This law was set in stone after Fëanáro's father married twice, and the second marriage tore his family apart and led to the downfall of the Noldor.) The only chance of marrying twice comes if there is absolutely no way that the former spouse will be able to meet the Elf wanting to remarry, in life or death.
* Parents have very little say in whom their children marry. This means that an arranged marriage is highly unlikely. In fact, no arranged marriages have ever been recorded, and the very nature of the arranged marriage goes against the Elves' true-love attitude towards marriage.
* The parents can make wishes or demands to the person their child has chosen, but the future spouse in question doesn't have to submit to the demands; however, it is rude and disrespectful not to. (That is why Beren went after the Silmarilli for Thingol, and Aragorn waited until he was king to marry Arwen.)
* Elven marriages must be of free will. Rape and forced marriage murders the Elven victims.
* Marrying family members (incest) is highly taboo. Even among cousins it is considered 'icky', though it isn't outlawed.
[/color:1z4emkop]

Also I found these two ceremonies:


[color=green:1z4emkop][b:1z4emkop]The Blessing of the Four Winds[/b:1z4emkop]


While each clan uses a different version of Bile Janis oc Hul Haizeani, the common root elements of the ritual appear in all of them in one form or another.

In its simplest form, a representative home is set for the couple in the central area for the ceremony, harkening back to ancient times when the marriage took place in the actual house built for the newlyweds. Most clans use some version of a ceremonial cloth called "gelnutre". In many cases this is an heirloom item, handed down from one generation to the other for the firstborn daughter, or it can be made specifically for the marriage.

Guests stand in a loose arch above the northern point of this area, prepared to welcome the bridal couple into the community as a wedded pair. Before them waits the person chosen to lead the ceremony. This is usually a cleric or shaman, but can also be the clan leader or any other highly regarded person in the clan.

The cardinal points of the east and west are occupied by the witnesses for the groom and bride -- the man in the masculine position of the rising sun and the female in the receptive position of the setting sun.

From the south (the wind of the past) the bridal couple is escorted by those who stand as guardians to them. The witnesses step forward from their positions to meet them at the center of the area and request the couple be released from the bonds and responsibilities of the families who have raised them, as they are about to enter a new stage of life. The guardians assent, formally releasing the couple and seating them upon the gelnutre before stepping back to the southernmost point of the area.

Although it is permissible for the couple to chant or sing their bloodlines past seven generations, it is more proper and formal for this duty to be preformed by another. Very elaborate ceremonies are devised, often utilizing the services of bards and mages in order to emphasize the quality of the bloodlines.

Usually, the witness for the female chants her lines and attributes first, followed immediately by the witness for the male. Two favored variations of this part of the ritual involve the witnesses singing a duet, with the marriage lines intricately interwoven into one cohesive whole. Another variation often chosen is for each witness to sing a piece that incorporates the necessary information one after another.

After the lines are declared, the witnesses return to their respective positions, still facing the couple. A sudden silence falls, broken as the guardians, witnesses and cleric all turn sharply to guard the cardinal points around the bridal couple. Four challenges are issued to the cardinal points of the winds to offer cause why the ceremony cannot continue. The cleric issues the first challenge to the North Wind for any of the flesh to speak, followed in rapid succession by the witness of the bride calling out to the god of the bride in the west and the witness for the groom calling out to the god of the groom to the East. Finally, and most importantly, the guardians of the couple challenge the South Wind, the place of the ancestors and the past.

Assuming no word has been spoken by flesh nor any ill omen displays the displeasure of the gods or ancestors all turn back to the center and approach the couple. The cleric blesses the couple and joins their right hands together before raising them up. Each declares their vows to the other and gives a symbolic element to the other to declare their commitment before the cleric declares them wed. Almost immediately, the guests and family surround the couple in cheerful celebration and the festivities start with song, dance and abundant food.

[b:1z4emkop]The Soul Marriage [/b:1z4emkop]


This is the rarest form of all the marriage arrangements. Quite often, it is chosen after years of another marriage. This is the only marriage among the Elves that cannot be dissolved, since in this ritual the couple declares that they are no longer two separate souls, but a new creature intertwined with but one soul. It is an extremely private ceremony with very specific requirements.

For a couple not already married, this ceremony is integrated with the Bile Janis oc Hul Haizeani. The cleric does not join the couple's hands nor declare them wed. Instead, he raises them to their feet in silence and takes up the gelnutre. This is a signal to the guests to withdraw to the area of the feast and begin a rather rowdy celebration of their own, full of feasting and singing while the private ceremony is in progress. The cleric leads the couple and their witnesses to the place previously prepared for the ritual. The only requirement is that it be private and have access to a body of water. Salt water is preferred but not required. The necessary items have been neatly arranged on either a small table or a rock of unusual beauty. A large candle burns brightly with two unlit tapers lying near it in readiness, a bottle of exquisite wine awaits in an ornate decanter with two empty wineglasses before it, and a loaf of unleavened bread lies on a small platter or fine cloth.

The cleric shakes the gelnutre out and spreads it on the ground before seating the couple upon it. He speaks sternly to the couple about the degree of commitment they are about to undertake and asks them if they undertake this freely. When they reply that they do, the cleric joins their left hands together. Throughout the ritual, this grasp may not be relinquished, and the couple must rely on their witnesses for assistance as they proceed through the declarations of joining in the ancient way of sun, earth, water and air.

The cleric then asks for the token by which they will join. Depending on the clan, this token may be a torque, a ring, or ceremonial earrings. The cleric leads the couple in exchanging their vows and tokens of their love. After a blessing, the cleric returns to the assembly and announces with great cheer the impending death of the individuals all have once known.

Each member of the couple is given an unlit candle. Although the candles may be simple tapers, generally ornate ones are chosen. Most couples cherish the symbols of this ceremony and display them prominently in their home after the ceremony. With simple words from the heart, they speak directly to one another, binding themselves by fire, and light their separate candles in unison from the brightly burning central candle. The witnesses take the candles from them and set them to either side of the master candle before seating the couple.

The couple next declare themselves joined by earth and are handed the loaf of unleavened bread. Together they break the bread, each feeding a morsel of it to the other. The witnesses take up any remaining bread and destroy it by fire to symbolize the exclusiveness of the relationship.

Each witness brings forth a wine goblet of delicate workmanship and assists each member of the couple in pouring a glass of wine. The couple bind themselves by water, first sipping their own wine and then sharing it with the other. Once again, the remainder of the wine is cast away and not shared. In the strictest observance of ancient tradition, the wineglasses were also shattered along with the decanter in which the wine was served to again symbolize the exclusiveness of the relationship. However, it has become equally acceptable for the couple to retain both the decanter and the glasses as reminders of this special day for use upon their anniversaries. If this choice is made, the witnesses set the empty wineglasses alongside the brightly burning candles.

Next, the couple declare themselves joined by air, each speaking or singing their heart to the other. These pieces can be heartbreakingly simple or masterpieces of intricate work.

The witnesses assist the couple in standing and they embrace before unclasping their joined hands. Guarded by the witnesses they lose their bridal finery and enter into the privacy of the waters before them. They enter the waters as two separate individuals but emerge as a new creature sharing one soul. The witnesses turn their backs upon the water and guard the area from intruders, for whatever occurs there is between the couple only. Upon exiting, they joyfully assist them in regaining their wedding finery and run to the assembly to declare the new joining and imminent arrival of the new soul-bound creature.

Shortly thereafter, the couple rejoins their guests to receive their good wishes and join in the celebration of the joining. [/color:1z4emkop]


Or you can just make it up/wing it

I hope that is useful for you

[silke_rahn]

Thanks, now the in-game service is not until the 11th of July at 10pm Eastern Time US. So if anyone else has ideas or other research feel free to include it here.

BTW if you want to witness it will be on The Forgotten Realm persistant world server of Neverwinter Nights-2/ Mask of the Betrayer/ Storm of Zehir. To get the packages to play on that server you need to go to The Forgottem Realm homepage at http://forgottenrealm.ca/. Then go to the Resources tab and down to Downloads to find the download needed to play on the PW.

Like I said I am the local high priestess in game of Eilistraee. I invite any Choosen of Eilistraee to RP in game at the Ceremony of Tindell Rahn (half-Drow Ranger) and Andreya whoes family name I forget (human, class unknown). Tindell Rahn is one of House Rahn's Dark Hunters (Rangers) and Andreya is a former pirate. They have asked that I Nedylene Rahn wed them.

PS: this is an RP Event, If you create Drow to attend let me know by PM as on The Forgotten Realm all Drow good, neutral, or evil begin in Szith. I will freely port any good aligned Drow to Lunar Temple for this event.

[Argoth]

Talwyn, you've outdone yourself. Excellent work.