Yarr! badger!

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CrankyOzzie
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Yarr! badger!

Post by CrankyOzzie »

Many years ago there lived a young man near a small village at the foot of the a large mountain range. Where that village was, and at the foot of which range it stood, no longer matters. What matter, is this young man's tale.

He was a simple man. Simple as in, he lead a quiet life, tended his fields, paid his dues to his lord, all that sort of thing, not simple as in stupid. But I digress. He was a simple man, and life was peaceful for him. Apart from the occasional wolf or bear coming too close to the farmhouse, that is. For years he lived on the farm, growing up, falling in love, marryi8ng, having children, and eventually inheriting the farm; though his parents stuck around to stick their noses in where - as far as he was concerned - it was none of their business.

All was quiet, all was well. Until, one night, he had a dream. His farm was under threat by a rampaging band of Orcs. The fields were aflame, his family was screaming in terror, and all looked lost. Until, out of nowhere, a huge, ferocious Dire Badger ran into the fray, nipping and kicking and head butting the Orcs like they were toys. The Orcs, overcome with fear at this unexpected adversary, fled the scene of their crimes, and the farmhouse and family, at least, were saved. The young man had this dream for almost a month, every night. Disturbed by this vision, he bid his family good bye and set out to find the answer, hoping the nearby wizard - who live not the next village, but the next village over from his, about a week's walk away - would know the answer to his dream.


For weeks, well, days, but it seemed like weeks! [i:2xv52qny]You[/i:2xv52qny] try slogging down muddy roads, camping out with no shelter but a worn out cloak, and eating nothing but moldy bread and cheese for a week and see if it doesn't seem like weeks to you! Now, where was I? Oh yes! He battled foe after foe, and faced many dangers on his trek. Well, if you count the odd wolf as a foe, and falling over and skinning your knees as dangerous! Which it could be, mind you! This being a time when antiseptic was unheard of, and even a simple scratch could become festered and poisoned.

Well, please, stop interrupting me! Anyway, after a week, he made it to the Wizard's tower. Not seeing any way in, he climbed up the side of the tower - no mean feat with no rope - and tumbled in the window. The wizard, who'd been deep in study, startled, turned, and muttered a few words of magic. The young man, who'd been about to ask him about the dream, suddenly found himself incapable of speech. Turning a nearby mirror - there's always one when needed for an important plot event in stories, ya know - turning, he looked into the mirror, and saw the most ferocious, feral-looking Dire Badger you ever did see. Suddenly, his dream became clear. It was HE who was supposed to save his family!

To cut a long story short, the wizard turfed him out, he hurried back home, and found his home under attack by Orcs, which he routed easily. The End.
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